Dirty and Weak

poet

We have been sad now
For such a long, long time
Where eyes used to shine brightly
They are now closed so tightly
Not wanting to see me
Not wanting me to speak
Not thinking so clearly
I am so dirty and weak

We have been drifting now
For seems a long tortuous time
Where laughter lines grew
Now are covered over with grime
Not wanting to believe in me
Not wanting me to flirt
Not living so patiently
Now falling into the dirt

Every time I am a lonely
My old fatal desires awake
I hit the bottle of whiskey
Drowning in that lake
Not seeing no reason
Not wanting to feel the pain
I piss my evenings away
Then I do it all again
When I am feeling so dirty
When I am feeling so weak
When I find myself so alone
The future becomes so bleak

We have been confused now
It seems like a cloudy day
Where the path was once carefree
Now we can’t find the way
Not wanting me to move on
Not wanting me to stay
Not wanting me to be alive
I will be dead for another day

We have become so angry now
There is violence in the air
No physical torture
But between us a tear
Not wanting to scream out aloud
We stay in silence instead
We’ve used up all our patience
And I’ve lost my head

Every time I am lonely
My fatal skeletons grew strong
You thought I had buried my past
But I still drank all along
Not seeing any reason to break
The tradition that plagued me
Feeling so empty and dirty
Feeling unkind feeling so weak
A stagger alone to nowhere
A piece of mind a seek

Glass bottle is falling
Smashing to the floor
Desperate I try to gather
The whiskey into the jar
Slicing my hands in the process
Yet I don’t feel any pain
I am just a bloody drunken mess
I am mocked as insane

Every time I am lonely
The serpents hiss in my mind
I drink until daybreak
Pissed up and literally blind
Not seeing any reason to move on
From the rut I’ve fallen into
Feeling so empty and dirty
Feeling queasy and so weak
A slept in the most ridiculous places
Nobody came to help me

We have been separated now
It seems such a long time
I’ve lost most of my friends now
When it got difficult they left quickly
Not wanting to let them in
Too distracted when they walked out
I sit here in my pissed stain clothes
Abandoned without a doubt

Every time I am lonely
Demons seep through my dark eyes
Churning out the essence in me
Grating away the strength in my bones
Falling down into a retched heap
The stench will erode your senses
I will sit here feeling sorry myself
Free of my five useless senses

Wrong side of the garden path
Wrong side of the law
Arrested for breaching the peace
Scraped off from the floor
Sitting in a cold dark cell
Placed on suicide watch
As I dry out trembling
I dream of my favourite scotch

Would you know that I am here?
Locked up and locked away from you
Too much time to think
No alcohol to blunt those thoughts
No way to harm my self
No way for me to disappear
Missing our retched lives
Missing having you near

Feeling so low and down
Feeling so dirty and weak
Feeling with too many feelings
No option but to sleep

In my dreams it seems so real
The way you touch and the way you feel
I remember the perfume when we first met
There was so much love without regret
The rain came and blurred the vision
The chalk drawing faded to grey
The pavement turned back to being an object
Dirty and weak is just another part of my day.

 

Darren Hobson is a published poet who writes constantly and truthfully, mixing his palette of words with detail and enthusiasm, he writes about society, the general grind of daily live but also writes short stories about the supernatural and dark fairy tales. He has many eBooks and paperback books on offer why not delve deeper into this artists mind?

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